Murder, today's gossip wrote

The days after the closing of the transfer window usually allow the Mill a bit of space to be creative – don't interrupt, yes they do. Early February is a time for high literary conceit, and having spotted the Sun's exclusive! front-page photo of the Newcastle defender Danny Simpson bleeding in to the gutter at 4am outside a Manchester takeaway, we cracked our knuckles and began to dream up something fabulously avant garde. Alas! Reaching for a second bowl of Coco Pops, the Sun went a-tumblin' to the floor and staring up at the Mill from the back page was José Mourinho, saying in big letters: "Let me save Chelsea".

Not that this story is entirely without imagination, mind you: close your eyes and try to picture Mourinho using the words "come home" to describe a return to Stamford Bridge, because that's what the paper reckons. He is very likely, however, to be leaving Real Madrid in the summer, and we all know that Rafael Benítez will be taking a break from football by then. In fact, there is a good chance that Chelsea will have hired and fired another manager by then. According to the Express, Roman Abramovich has been flipping through his Rolodex to G and staring forlornly at Avram's number; the Mirror reckons Benítez has one match – Saturday's against Wigan Athletic – to save him from humiliation his job.

Chelsea were also supposed to be welcoming Radamel Falcao in the summer, but Roberto Mancini has other plans. Actually the Manchester City manager has other, other plans: he wants to put his £20m Balotelli kitty towards signing Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid in the summer. But if that doesn't work, he'll make do with Atlético's Falcao.

Millwall want to take the Tottenham Hotspur striker Harry Kane, recently returned to White Hart Lane after a spell at Norwich, back on loan. Kane scored nine goals in 27 appearances at Millwall last season, and after scoring only one goal in their last four games, Kenny Jackett's side could do with a boost up front. And it's not as if Spurs need any forwards. "Remember there was a team who were world champions that play without a striker," said André-Villas Boas to a crowd of hacks looking awkwardly at the floor as Clint Dempsey opened the door and repeatedly walked in to the frame.

The story about Manchester United's search for a replacement for David de Gea has taken another turn for the incredible with the suggestion that Liverpool's Pepe Reina features on the list and will be one of the club's prime targets if Stoke stick to their £15m valuation of Asmir Begovic. At least the idea that Newcastle are still thinking about buying Andy Carroll back in the summer is vaguely credible.

A busy week ahead at Blackburn Rovers, as they prepare for the arrival of DJ Campbell on loan from Queens Park Rangers as well as the recently-released Portsmouth midfielder Lee Williamson. Meanwhile, Sunderland and West Brom are apparently scrapping in an unsightly manner over the signature of the Reading defender Alex Pearce, who will be out of contract in the summer and simply won't sign another one.


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