Today's tittle-tattle is clicking the heels of its red papal slippers and repeating there's 'No place like Rome'

In the wake of Chelsea's FA Cup win over Middlesbrough, the words "Rafa" and "rant" feature prominently on today's back pages, with interim Chelsea manager Rafael Benitez's fairly calm and measured but quite obviously heartfelt comments about his situation at the London club being reported in some quarters as if he'd stripped to the waist, smeared pig's blood across his cheeks and bounded around Middlesbrough's media room swinging a club caveman style as he outlined his managerial pedigree and voiced his dissatisfaction with the antics of some Chelsea's supporters and the presence of the word "interim" in his job title, before revealing that he'll be leaving Stamford Bridge once his contract expires.

Considering the default setting of many British newspapers is "total hysteria", it's a little ironic that Rafa's post-match musings are being reported as some sort of cataclysmic meltdown, when all available evidence suggests they were nothing of the sort, but speculation now abounds that his decidedly unpredictable and whimsical employer Roman Abramovic may fire Benitez today and install Avram Grant as interim-interim manager to oversee Chelsea's slide out of the Premier League's top four into next season's Europa League.

Luis Suárez has declared that he'll quite happily consider offers from Bayern Munich or anyone else, but stressed that his willingness to do so is no indication that he'll be leaving Liverpool come season's end. Suárez is represented by Media Base Sports management, a company owned by Pere Guardiola, the brother of Pep, who takes over as Bayern manager this summer. "If Bayern Munich makes an offer I would certainly be willing to listen and think about it," said the Uruguayan. "It doesn't mean I will definitely leave, it just means that I will not automatically reject other clubs."

Arguably Chelsea's best player this season and surely likely to be a contender for the PFA Young Player of the Year Award, West Brom's Romelu Lukaku is wanted at West Bromwich Albion for another season. The Drogba-esque 19-year-old Belgian has already made it clear he'd prefer to stay on loan at the Hawthorns than return to Stamford Bridge and Baggies manager Steve Clarke has announced he'd be happy to keep in the Midlands. "It's something that will come up for discussion in the summer," he said. "Chelsea are his parent club, he is their player and they will decide what they want to do first and foremost. Then, after that, hopefully we will get a chance to put ourselves in the hat. If Chelsea want to leave him out for another season somewhere, I think we would have a strong chance of getting him back here but it is a discussion for the summer."

German newspaper Bild have reported that Borussia Dortmund striker and Rumour Mill staple Robert Lewandowski has agreed to join Bayern Munich, but not until the end of next season when he'll be available on a free transfer and able to pick up a massive signing on fee. The Rumour Mill hopes the tabloid is mistaken, because we're not sure we can take another 16 months of the inevitable Lewandowski-related nonsense that will ensue if he doesn't move somewhere this somewhere.

Today's Mirror reports that Tony Pulis wants to bring Bolton left-back Marcos Alonso to the Britannia, while in other news pertaining to the Trotters, Dougie Freedman has announced his intention to offer American midfielder Stuart Holden a new contract in a bid to keep him at the Reebok Stadium. Having spent some time this season watching missiles whoosh their way between Israel asnd Gaza while on loan at Maccabi Tel Aviv, Cardiff City striker Robert Earnshaw could be sent to the comparatively less hostile city of Toronto, where the most dangerous thing he's likely to see flying through the sky is a moose that's been hit by a drunk in a snow plough.


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